I've been listening to the 'You Are a Badass' books by Jen Sincero. One thing that she mentions over and over again is that once you've made the no-nonsense decision to improve your life, Life will then throw challenges in your path. She suggests such examples as a flat tire on the way to an awesome interview, a flood the day you open your business, the flu just as you're about to sign a business deal, and other things of that nature. Those seem to pale in comparison to getting ready to publish your first book and the world's economy grinding to a halt. That's where I'm at right now, and the irony is delicious. But, I move forward with faith in God and the Universe, and with gratitude for what I have.
I never thought I'd be a self-improvement kind of guy. We used to snicker about those books when I worked at a Corporate Bookstore. Then one day recently, I found myself sitting on the toilet at work in the tiniest bathroom stall I've ever experienced, shaking with anxiety, the level of which I'd never felt before. I decided that I might need some help.
I saw a psychologist, therapists, a psychiatrist, many friends, religious folks. I thought about a daily calendar that a friend of mine had given me a few years ago called "You Are a Badass". The daily readings really struck a chord with me, so I looked it up and sure enough, it was a book. I bought the audiobook and listened to it on my way to work and back. When I finished that one, I immediately got the follow-up, You Are a Badass at Making Money. I went to the author's website and looked around. She suggests other reading material I might find useful, so I've read a few of those. The funny thing is, there are a few points that are pretty consistent across these books, things that the therapists told me, and religious writing. They all say it differently, in their own voice, coming from their own place, but the message is the same.
I don't want to mention here what those points are; that's not why I'm writing this. If I said them, you either would have already heard them, or you wouldn't have heard them and they probably wouldn't really resonate with you, because a lot of it seems like the kind of stuff that young booksellers laugh at. I recommend you look into it though. You Are a Baddass is a great place to start, because she has a good sense of humor and her writing is easy to follow. But, that may not work for you. There are others.
I know that there are people who aren't even be aware that they could improve their lives and by how much. Myself, I was in a very dark place when I started, but imagine if I had actually read those book in my 20's when I worked at the bookstore. None of us had no idea that we might benefit from some guidance, and looking back, I can see that all of us could have. My point is we're all humans and we can all learn and grow.
So, books. I have a book that will be published soon. It is about my cats. Being around these darlings as much as I have, I started to see personalities, and then the real anthropomorphism began and I could hear their conversations in my head. Finally, I was pushed to write the stories down or they'd make me crazier than I already was. I wrote a story here and there. At some point, and I don't remember exactly when, I decided that they needed to be stitched together into a larger piece. I got out my pen and paper and wrote a few ideas that I felt floating in my head, then I wrote down what the ending would look like. Then all I had to do was color it all in. Granted, there was a lot of work, a lot of agonizing and help from a writing coach, but in the end, it's mine. It's the story of my cats. What was busting to get out of my head is on paper, albeit virtually.
I was reading Twitter the other day and somebody had written that, of course he writes for other people to read; he wasn't journaling. If people weren't going to read his writing, then why would he bother? I get that, but at the same time I don't think quite the same way as he does. Of course I want people to read my writing (except the journal that I do keep.) Part of me—I think it's the part that felt compelled to write it—also felt compelled for me to share it, which can only mean that The Universe has it in her mind that people will read it. The word 'Faith' is buried in there somewhere. I don't think I have to know exactly where, because if my faith is there, that's what counts. My book is in the hands of the publisher; I'll keep y'all posted as it gets closer to being released.
Thank you for taking your time to read this little post. Tell me, have you ever had this sort of epiphany? Gotten to the bottom and realized that you had to get your own self out? What was that like? I want to hear your stories.
I'll write more soon. Be well.
